A peek behind the veil of my life

The song I put on before I started writing is Loud by Motionless in White.

I have noticed too much in life to argue with the song which is available below.

I break people and then rebuild them.

That is not a job to ever take lightly. That is a responsibility in life that one owns and understands not many will get it. Before one can grow one has to forget everything one thinks one knows. This means allowing the delusions to fade away or be shattered before your eyes.

Most of the delusions that get broken revolve around self image. The things we build the foundation of our idea of self with.

We want to see ourselves as decent human beings and it is that desire that often drives us to overlook things so we can feel better about ourselves.

For the record. I hate breaking people, however it goes with being a Shaman.

As I’ve been writing my autobiography I’ve been exposing some things about my past that have not been easy and would be easy to leave out for the sake of self image.  I’ve been back and forth through my life several hundred thousand times always looking to see if there was something I missed about an experience that might lead to new realization.

I have always lived to learn and somewhere along the way I learned to teach. I have said before that I learn by teaching frequently. As a Medium I channel the lesson we are both getting while it looks like I am the one teaching. I understand how difficult it can be to grasp the concept and how it works with all the bad movies and fucked up fiction on the subject. It has distorted the very idea of what I and others do.

Not long ago I was working with a Producer to get my own show made. She and her husband were working on a fictional project involving one of the aspects of my life in dealing with the Arch Angels on a regular basis. The scene they had written was not even close to how it actually works and the intent behind the show was to get people more comfortable with people like me. When they refused to make the change I refused to further work with them.

Something my dad would say.

Never half ass a job, either do it right or don’t bother.

Here is a peek behind my mirror mask.

Before we ever meet. I’ve already met with your spirit and interacted with your subconscious mind at the conscious level to set the parameters and lay the foundation for the time we will share. Kind of scary to think someone has been preparing for you and you never who they were until you met face to face. It just happens to be how it works for me.

I have spent the last couple days in preparation for an new human in my life. When I get into operation for my prep work it looks like I am talking to myself most of the time while I am interacting in the spirit world that exists on top of this one only out of phase so to speak. Think of each realm of existence having it’s own phase signature allowing them to overlap in the same space and exist without effecting each other too much. There is always going to be some bleed over.

That’s the simplest way to explain something that is as complex in its existence that even a seasoned navigator like myself can get lost in the sea of the infinite worlds all around us. I also act as a communications beacon of sorts on occasion. Because the spirit can speak through me it is there to expedite what happens in that moment shared.

I don’t do much on those occasions except show up and be the Conduit as it is needed to flow through someone like me and I happen to be the closest one. It can at times feel as though I work for The Universe. I get how that sounds and this why I am letting you peek behind my veil and understand there is a metric fuck ton I am leaving out.

The only way anyone could ever get the full process of what I do and how I do it is to be my apprentice and that would take being able to see each other daily and preferably have them has a roommate. One would have to witness both, my interactions with others as a silent observer and then silently observe me afterward. It would not be easy to be my apprentice and I am very picky about who I teach much less live with and allow to view all aspects of my life.

It’s been hard enough to work with the coauthor on the autobiography. There are things I have already shared with her that I know won’t be in the book.

I graduated a student recently. That for me is a moment that keeps me loving being the Shaman I am and ready for the next one and the next one and the next one.

I work one on one.

When teaching one unity and how to be whole in and of oneself, one must live those lessons alone. Having the teaching happen in a social session or group gathering defeats the purpose of the lessons one is seeking to learn.

Teaching one to own one’s self and ones decisions is something one lives alone. One is one. The more voices added to one’s life and one’s decisions about what to do with and about one’s life is giving away one’s power to choose for one’s self and is often done out of fear of getting it wrong.

The hardest lesson I teach these days to live is to live in unity within. That means unifying and balancing the feminine and masculine energy within each of us into an androgynous view of self and others unless for some reason sex is an option between one and anther one. Unless sex is an option in the relationship there is no point to owning or recognizing gender.

I live it and it is a hard lesson to live in this day and age where we have made gender such a integral part of our identity.

I am a human.

Unless we are looking at having sex with each other there is no other designation to my form other than human that is needed. Sex is the only reason to live in gender. While plumbing requires some different care and can cause some different behavior one can balance that out by balancing out the feminine and masculine energy within one.

Over the years a lot of the shamanic work I have done has looked like friendships and I always knew that at some point whoever it is will no longer be in my life as often and often not to be heard from again. I do what I do because I love humanity and I love each and every one who has ever been able to find me to get what they needed. While that love never dies there are many I have lost touch with over the years in order to make room the next one or ones.

My life isn’t about me, it’s about them.

Living that kind of self sacrifice is not something I am proud or ashamed of, I just can’t live my life without doing it and not hate myself. That’s what it means to be a Shaman and walk the Shamans path. It is a calling that takes away the idea of having a life of your own ever again. The calling to be a Shaman is not about you it’s about them.

That’s why my Shamanic work all gets done by donation, no donation needed or ever asked for. Doing it any different and I hate myself for who I deny even though the need is true. That is how you tell the fakes from the real deal. The real deal won’t even ask for money and will help you because the need is true.

If you want me, it better be for editing scripts and shit like that. If you need me just hit me up. If you think you want to be my apprentice, first have your head examined and then ask yourself why and unless the answer is to do it for them, save us both a discussion you will hate.

This has been a peek behind my veil.

Have fun.


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