Solitude, Druids and Faith

I spend most of my time in solitude.

The Druids keep causing an inner conflict over books I’ve written and one I’m writing.

Faith isn’t faith until it’s been broken apart and rebuilt.

Here’s why.

Having the natural ability to walk all realities and all spiritual realms makes staying focused in this one with anyone for a length of time challenging. It takes a lot more focus and work for me to lower my vibration in order to meet people at their vibration than I can explain. It’s not better or worse or superior this and that it’s simply living at a higher vibration and state of awareness. Total awareness is not cool and is a pain in the ass to manage.

There is this myth out there that if you have mastered yourself you never reveal it. Who came up with this childish bullshit?

In my mind that’s how you know who to go to and can trust you will get the guidance you need. Without them identifying who they are and where they can be found people rely on just bumping into them outside of a club on a Friday night wondering why they came there. I have been that guy at that bar one night who said something once that changed someones life for a couple of decades.

Why should I have to hide that this is what my life is or feel ashamed about it or talking about it?

Why is it considered wrong to acknowledge the facts of my own existence?

Why is it I cannot be as I say I am?


I have spent a lot of time in solitude examining this issue in between experiences looking for new revelations or enlightenments. The potential to learn never leaves no matter how much one has come to understand.  We make the most growth and vibrate higher when in solitude than any other time because it’s the only time we never hold back anything or are distracted by anything.

I have had friends and family comment on how heavy my presence can feel.  In solitude is the only time I can relax and not be focused on holding back so everyone else is comfortable.

In solitude I don’t have to worry about what I am saying and observing pissing anyone off just because it happens to true. In solitude is where I examine if I am full of shit or not before I ever decide to speak on a topic.

In solitude is where the most work gets done in the evaluation process of new information and new experiences based on the now you are in.

I like my solitude because most people who would tell you they would like to meet someone like me, they hate it and me when they do.

Some of the greatest lessons we learn are from why we even let something upset us?

What if the test is accepting the teacher who shows up not the one you think should show up?

I’ve explored this a lot in solitude with the ability to channel guidance directly from the Universal consciousness or what some might call God.

It has no real definition that we can relate to other than a hive mind that is infinite and is made of all minds.

It’s like asking all of existence the question and the answer channels through my mouth but is not me talking.

We all can have these kinds of conversations with God with our inner connection to our higher self that acts like the translator between us and God and could be seen as the holy spirit or any number of gateway spiritual connections described in many different religious and dogmatic texts.

Instead of getting the individual representation most get where they connect to the higher self the added kicker for me is that I was born in this state. For me the behavior and understanding to achieve and maintain this state is instinctual from birth.

The number one thing all people who exist in this awakened state comment on is how hard it is to be in crowds feeling the lower vibration pulling them down. This is the herd mentality being applied to levels of awareness as well as intelligence. The group think and large group experience is the worst thing you could do to raise or maintain your vibration.

Solitude is the best for raising and maintaining your vibration. One on one is easier and more than two is when it becomes a drain. People are assisted in lifting themselves up in one on one intimate and private moments and are left out in large groups. The larger the group the more who lift and are not lifted.

The Druids wrote shit down on leaves. I have been told I was a Druid in a past life and as I type this I can connect to foggy memories of understanding. Leaves were used to make sure things were updated as new experience was had and never leave the people trapped to a singular view.

This is why I hate myself for The Book of Khaos Majick and Psychospirilosophy The Martial Art of thought. I have often said I will always blog because I look at even my own material as a jumping off point for further exploration. I wrote these two books to give myself a structure for that exploration I understood and felt good about. I would always wish that people view what I write and what I have to say the same way. A jumping off point for further exploration.

Call bullshit if you think you can.

Once in a great while someone does trip me up. Even with having the understanding to write those two books and the study of history to create inner conflict over it, you can bet your sweet ass I agonized over every word as I wrote it as I am doing now writing Khaos Shamanism based on the two other books and practical experience as it has been had in my life. It’s not going to show anyone “thee” way, it is a look at a way the concepts of both books can be applied and I expect your experience to be as individual as you are and please don’t follow me or start any cults.

We can all laugh at that.

Even as I was writing the other two books and as I’m writing this one I see the potential for that and I want to be crystal clear on the fact that I have zero interest in having my own cult or some crazy bullshit like that. I merely wanted to give people a view of how to apply Shamanism in life without being a Shaman or having to take the dangerous journey to become one. Every Shaman’s journey is unique to the individual as it is the life they lead that brings those who need healing to them whether they know it or not sometimes. The greatest challenge of the Shamanic life is when they don’t see how sick they are. Even worse is when they do and prefer to stay sick.

To walk the Shaman’s path the idea of faith itself becomes something that you destroy and recreate in various forms until you remember what faith is in the first place. Faith is holding on to that one thing that always brings a calm to the storm. When you master the faith you have in yourself you have mastered the faith God has in you.

God has faith in us to be we who are in our core that we are afraid to show or God wouldn’t be in there pushing us from the inside to bring it out more often. God can and does speak through all of us because you try telling God no and see what happens. God will always be found within you telling you that you can and will speak through others who agree as needed not wanted.

Faith is having faith it will happen when it needs to so you never go seeking it. Faith built on experience is often a journey through hell only to find what was there all along was in you. Seeing when things seemed to mysteriously line up one way or the other based on who and what you let influence your decision. Having faith in yourself to be able to divine your path based your inner relationship with God,

God is infinite and can take any form. It’s for the most part why every one is right and wrong to a certain extent. God will take on the attributes you apply to God and play along to a certain extent. Never apply the idea of humanness to something as incomprehensible as God. We are human and God resides within all things however not all of God is human or even has a form, God transcends the idea of gender or identity and is a slave to keeping existence going. Having faith is what allows me to put this out for anyone to see as a jumping off point.

It’s how God explained it to me.

Explaining it here instead of book simply feels better.

Who knows how many and who will read this?

I do it this way because it helps me to put pressure on myself to make sure I am not misleading any or full of shit in anyway and that I did do the appropriate homework and life experience and extra time in study and living life research or I wouldn’t have let it come out.

Or to say I am not seeking validation or argument, however further exploration is always welcomed.

Go within and see what happens.

Have a blessed journey and find the truth not what you seek.


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