The Queen Bitch Goddess of Rock N Fuckin’ Roll and how I lost my virginity.

If you don’t know who Joan Jett is, I don’t want to know who you are.

I often say I am The Rock N Roll Shaman by life, not choice and in this piece I am going to back that shit up.

I saw him dancing there by the record machine
I knew he must have been about seventeen
The beat was going strong
Playing my favorite song
And I could tell it wouldn’t be long till he was with me, yeah me
And I could tell it wouldn’t be long till he was with me, yeah me

I was 17 and probably rockin’ out and dancin’ next to the jukebox at Orchard Lanes bowling alley in Chico, Ca when the 20 year old woman I lost my virginity to happen to see me for the first time.

I think we can skip the rest of the song and understand why this song has s special place in the heart of the man who lives his life by Sex, Drugs and Rock N Roll and still be a Shaman.

Orchard Lanes is where I smoked my first joint.

And yeah we ended up in a car at one point,  but not the first time. No I am not telling her name for her sake. I will say this however, I tried to marry her and she was the reason I decided to go into the Air Force at 17 so I could provide back up to what my mouth was saying.

She ended up not being my first wife, she did send in me in the direction to find her though. I always say going in the Air Force was the one of the best decisions I ever made. The life experience I gained was priceless and it was the humanitarian mission I went on that was the hardest couple months I loved.

Back to me losing virginity.

I was in love and so was she. It was gentle and passionate. It was the best experience I could have hoped to have had be my first sex. I got the priceless gift or real love making as my sexual imprint. I can never stop being grateful to my first for that. I have heard way too many horror stories over the years to not be eternally grateful for that first time.

It’s what set me on the path to become a Tantra Master.

After that first time I had the following thought “That was awesome and I understand if you are good at it you will be invited to do it more often.”

Take that and mix it with this.

Is there anything more Rock ‘N’ Roll than strip clubs?

I was stationed in Cocoa Beach Florida where I spent a few months at a club called The Inner Room. Short version, if any of those women found out I disrespected a woman based on what they taught me, they might shoot me. If there was anything my left my mother would finish me off with how she raised me. I didn’t happen on accident even though I might want to try and pretend.

I am so cliche I asked one of the dancers who had become my best friend to marry me. She said no and funny enough my first wife looked a lot like her.

Speaking of my first marriage and reasons why it ended and it was all me and why I no longer drink.

It must have been 97 in Oklahoma City at a bar called In Cahoots where I saw Joan Jett THEE Queen Bitch Goddess of Rock ‘N’ Fuckin’ Roll perform live. Here’s why it was hands down the best true rock concert I have yet to even come close in twenty years.

I was a year out of the Air Force and married to my first wife and had a 1978 white Camaro. I had a 3 bedroom house with deck and a hot tub. I had two dogs and a cat. I was also a raging alcoholic.

Sex

Drugs

Rock N Roll

That night as the show was going on I found myself drunk and not with my wife and trying to get a woman to go fuck me in the parking lot. She happen to be married too and almost said yes.

If the music on stage inspires this kind of deviant behavior, that is the greatest rock concert you can go to. I did not succeed that night.

To this day I will not hang out in a bar unless they have a jukebox and I Love Rock N Roll in it. I drink coffee in bars these days however a nice local dive bar with jukebox and a pool table or two is still my favorite place to just hang out and people watch.

For few years my best friend who was a woman was a bar tender. At one point I took time off work to take care of her after a surgery. We never had sex. That was more than 17 years ago and went up until I met my 2nd wife.

I would always hang out until closing time to walk her out to her car while shooting pool and shootin’ the shit with whoever. When I was driving cab I would hang out at that bar on Monday nights drinking coffee between calls. That was 7 years ago while I was married to my 3rd wife.

The jukebox in that place had all the right tracks. Same woman last time I saw her two years ago is bar tending in the oldest bar and pool hall in town. They don’t have jukebox. I don’t go.

As the Rock ‘N’ Roll Shaman at age 42 after doing all the stupid shit your supposed to do here is how I apply Sex, Drugs and Rock ‘N’ Roll as a way of life now regardless of my sorted and colorful past.

Sex: Be responsible. Be Respectable. Be CONSENSUAL. The free advice from a Shaman and Tantra Master is at least put some effort in to making it sensual.

Drugs: Pick your own. Know the side effects. Use moderation. Don’t bitch to me about dealing with those side effects.

Rock ‘N’ Roll: Fuck it and blow your motherfuckin’ ear drums out and crank the shit that speaks to your soul all the way to motherfuckin’ 11 and throw some horns and bang your head or whatever works for you.

For me it works as a way of life. Do what works for you.

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