The idea of the ego to me is a process that begins with the essence of us that is the emotional self that is an imprint created by the emotional state and experience of our parents before our conception.
That process never ends and is in a constant state of refinement.
The sum total of the individuals your parents were at the moment of conception went into the DNA coding that created your life.
Everything we are is coded in our DNA. Genetic coding information that creates the parameters or loose structure for our existence in the human form.
While in the womb we absorb everything our mother thinks and feels and exposes herself and us too. Think of it this way, just because you didn’t watch the horror movie she was watching while she was pregnant with you, does not mean that you did not experience the emotion of it, in fact you experienced it with safe guards and the beginning of the split between the conscious and subconscious begins.
Everything that would send you into a state of arrest due to the strength of the emotions, both positive and negative, is channeled through the subconscious and back to your mother who has the ability to deal with the emotional stress. Now if your mother has repressed and suppressed feelings, these will naturally become a part of your subconscious mind.
Things hidden away that will come to surface as you have the experiences to purge and identify these feelings that must be allowed to take form in order for you to understand why you are the way you are and give you better options to do something about it.
As you see before you’re even born your parents screw you up. Everything your dad projects at your mother and his own repressed and suppressed feelings also are implanted into you.
Human beings learn best from practical experience.
As a child you hear “Don’t touch that it’s hot.” However until you touch it you don’t understand what that means. If you want to understand why or how someone would choose to or not to engage in an action, you must put yourself in their shoes and think about the experience and how you would handle it.
Be empathetic and feel what it would feel like to you most likely.
There is no way to actually know until you have the actual experience.
This is the process of the ego. It means nothing until it means something to you as an individual and that meaning becomes part of your projection of self which is the constantly refined definition of who you think are.
Think of your conscious mind as the desk top on your computer or everything others see and interact with. Then realize the subconscious acts as the operating system that is the one actually doing everything behind the scenes.
Your body is the machine, your conscious mind is the mask and your soul is the ghost in the machine.
Let’s examine this as Zero and 1 for a moment.
Let’s call the subconscious mind Zero and the projection of self or current ego formation 1.
1 is ever changing and creating with what Zero takes in and uses to make a series of “if then” comparisons based on the history of 1 up to the current moment to decide what options 1 has in the way 1 forms the projection of self in the moment.
Zero acts as a singularity or black hole, taking in everything. The conscious mind in most humans is incapable of processing more than 10% of what is actually going on around 1. Zero is programmed based on 1’s experience to ignore large chunks of what is happening around 1 depending on what 1 is doing at the time.
In digital terms the subconscious uses a series of gates to determine what information is relevant to the projection of self in the moment based on history and the gates shift as we have new experiences and either allow or deny information accordingly.
We program ourselves based on decisions made at the conscious level, however this does not mean that all decisions are final. We can change our programming at will and it takes time to make the changes and have them become part of the process to an extent that choice is given up in favor of instinctual response.
The conscious mind uses language to express the projection of self so the other projections understand, while the subconscious works in visual metaphor and emotional conceptual understanding.
This is why logic alone is absolutely not healthy for any human. It is an act to escape one’s own humanness, nothing more.
All language is metaphorical. We are describing the metaphors our subconscious uses to store concepts when we speak.
I’ve found often when someone is telling me a story, my mind will connect to the memories like You Tube clips to show me I understand the underlying message being expressed as I listen to someone tell me about their life.
I can better empathize and give comfort and show my understanding not by comparing but in sharing my history that led me to be able to empathize in the moment.
I find too often we think of it as others comparing as if it was a competition due to this need to feel as though we are the only ones to ever experience this type of thing in our lives.
We do this to justify and rationalize holding onto the emotion that we have chosen to apply to the situation we find ourselves in. We do it to gain sympathy versus empathy.
The difference between the two is this.
When we make ourselves the only one to ever go through what we are going through we are looking for people to enable our decision of the emotions we have chosen to apply to our view of our life in the moment.
Feel sad with me and project your sad emotions at me so that I may feel even sadder and totally justified in my sadness. Giving sympathy perpetuates the emotional spiral and gives the other person permission to hold onto it and do nothing to feel any differently about the situation.
When we empathize, we take a moment to validate the current emotional state without projecting more of that emotion, instead momentarily connecting with it based on our own history. Think of it as sticking your toe in the water to say “you’re right, it’s cold.” Instead of jumping in and being just as cold as they are.
Instead it gives the option of saying “If you want to stay there fine, but I’m not jumping in there with you.”
Our story is our definition of our projection in its current state and we based our projection on the past experiences we have had that led us to this moment.
Everything in life is based on the moment that is now. The moment never stops, never rewinds and never fast forwards, it just is.
Now we can get into multiverse theory and infinite parallels or the time space continuum, but really how much good does that do the average person in their daily life?
It doesn’t, so let’s focus on the here and now as if it’s all that matters for the sake of just getting through most days in one piece and feeling OK about what you might have done to accomplish that.
That is the ego process, how you choose to project yourself to get through your day and feel good about it.
Modern psychology has a lot terms that are thrown around to attempt to identify or diagnose the core issue that brings us to see a shrink.
I have found that most of what people in psychology do is detective work based on what they studied versus what they’ve lived.
Their ego insists that because they studied they are an authority and to be revered as the key holders to unlocking the door to the cage you feel trapped in.
I have found the easiest way for you to provide you with cognitive therapy is to talk to yourself.
Ask yourself why you just did that thing you did and then wait to see what bubbles up in your mind. It’s easier to explain it to yourself than someone else.
You don’t need as many words as you work with your metaphors and have no fear of something being lost in translation. However it takes being honest with one self and setting the intent to actually understand why versus looking for rationalization of justification.
I have always said the moment I feel the need to rationalize or justify what I am doing or have done, I know I am deceiving myself in some way to make it OK and dispel any feelings of guilt.
We all do it. We say “It’s OK because…” or “Any other time I never would have done that, but this time…” and other various things to absolve us of the guilt we feel and to explain to others to get them to tell us it’s OK also.
We use our history to justify our actions and words as to why we don’t have to do what we know to be right for whatever reason we come up with.
There are times that valid reasons exist to explain the choices we make. It’s a fine line and on one side is attachment and the on the other side is freedom.
When you attach a piece of your history to an emotion you give yourself and excuse to behave the way you do that you know is not what you learned is proper behavior at some point in life. Emotion becomes your shield against those who call you out for your behavior.
The emotions you tie to the behavior are to justify it and keep the original hurt alive and you are unwell.
I am not saying you’re crazy or need to be put on meds, you’re just not working at optimum.
Most emotional issues can be resolved by changing the way you view them thus allowing you to detach that emotion to that experience that you use to justify your actions and words.
“I have had so many people lie to me I am never trusting anyone again.”
It’s not the other people you don’t trust, it’s your ability to catch on when someone is lying that you don’t trust. If you don’t trust you then your projection of self will bounce back the reflections that match your projection. Or to say trust no one and no one will trust you.
You live doing unto others as you would have done to you and you reap what you sow in the seeds you plant with your words and actions whether you want to or not.
How you choose to deal with what bounces back is what defines who you are in the moment. What you say and what you show is who you are. When you avoid dealing with issues as they arise you are avoiding yourself as much as you are avoiding someone else. The issue arises to begin with based on the subconscious desire to resolve the issue.
The conscious mind has the choice to deal with it or the subconscious will find a way to put you in a similar situation until you consciously decide to change your ways. You will do things behind your back in front of your face to set yourself up.
When we engage with others the operating systems connect and make an agreement the conscious mind may or may not ever be aware of.
Zero only allows one to be aware of that which will keep 1 on the program Zero has negotiated with the other operating systems. There truly is little that happens in our life that we don’t allow to happen. It happens so we can grow and learn.
Think of it as the subconscious and conscious minds working together to train each other to provide the life we enjoy living and feel the least amount of guilt about. Until we no longer feel the desire to explain ourselves and just be who we’ve become, we can at times feel as though we are in the film GROUNDHOG’S DAY, repeating the same experiences over and over again until the lesson is learned and growth is achieved.
The Ego as a process simply makes sense to me.