Why selling sex is bad for the human condition

Behavioral psychology is one of my specialties. Please allow me to demonstrate.

The other day I was discussing the issue of using sex to sell with Candice Galek who has taken her rise in celebrity very seriously and is someone I find I agree with when we exchange ideas on some of her posts that catch my attention. One of the things I respect most about Candice is that she is making every effort to use this new found celebrity to make a positive impact.

The topic we were discussing is the use of sex, specifically the female form to sell or gain attention.

Candice told me story about a post she wrote and used two different pictures to do an experiment in what draws people in on social media.

The first post used the picture of a shirtless man. Almost no one read it.

After changing the picture to one of a woman, people couldn’t wait to read it, men and women alike.

Here’s why this happens.

Side note: Thank you Candice for allowing me to use your name. My readers are used to me not giving names.

Quick lesson in history.

Originally marketing was called propaganda.

Quick lesson in the marketing industry.

It is the art or science if you will of using behavioral psychology to influence people based on emotional triggers.

I don’t remember a time in my life where the female form was not being used to sell everything.  Think about that for a moment.

We have been using women and their bodies as objects in triggering a buy now response. It works on men as they are visually stimulated generally speaking. It works on women in a different way. They want the mans attention and they see the form as one to aspire to be.

This creates a negative self body image for many women.

I do a lot of charity work in helping women rebuild their self image after abusive relationships. The one thing that is always the hardest is getting them to embrace their body as it is. Assisting them in seeing they are beautiful from the inside no matter what the outside looks like is not an easy task.

What makes it more difficult is women who blatantly use their bodies to get ahead in life. You see these women in commercials and in magazines and all over the internet.

We make celebrities out of models and pretty faces with pretty bodies. We elevate them to God like status in the attention and adoration they get from both sexes.

Question.

How many women that don’t fit the bill of beauty really get noticed?

Not all women use their body as a weapon to gain the upper hand to make a living. There are a lot of women who use their minds and are often treated like an empty shell because of their appearance.

Question.

How many models can you quote something they are known for saying?

I want to throw out a statistic that should scare you all.

In a survey 1 out of 3 college age men said they would rape a woman if they thought they could get away with it. What if it’s more than a third because some still lied even though it was an anonymous survey?

These young men don’t see women, they see objects of desire that have been used to market to them specifically. They have been overloaded with the idea of a woman being the object next to whatever she is selling regardless of whether or not she speaks.

This is the price we pay as a society for using the female form as a marketing tool for several decades to the point of brainwashing. It’s why women went to the second picture on Candice’s article as well as men. When it was half naked man not even the women were showing up to read.

That’s powerful results from the experiment.

This isn’t conjecture or opinion its documented fact based on scientific results.

Women are lining up to sell themselves as nothing more than an object because there is money to be made doing it.

What is a model if she is not a tool?

For every woman who offers her body up for marketing purposes thousands of others pay the price.

That price is those thousands having to work harder to be taken seriously.

That price is our daughters growing up wanting to be these women.

That price is too many women being treated like objects.

The real question after all of this is what can we realistically do about it?

Something Candice and I agreed on during our discussion is that it will not stop until women take a stand to stop taking the jobs that are all about showing it off to bring in the sales.

It really is that simple. I didn’t say easy.

The biggest obstacle is that on an emotional level it feels good to be wanted. It feels good to be adored by many regardless of the reason. It gets addictive. That’s how energy works.

These women and men who do it too are feeding off the desire they inspire on an energetic level.

It’s why many models and performers of all kinds often go into depression at the end of their careers. They are no longer getting their energetic fix and are going through withdrawals.

Think about the daughters of this world growing up saying they want to be Kim Kardashian. A woman who is more famous for her ass than anything else.

She has no talent to speak of and I doubt she has ever had a job. Her celebrity came from a reality TV show and her ass that she likes to show off as often as possible. She is not the only one.

These are the role models we are giving our daughters by making these kinds of people famous and playing into our base instincts and letting them use behavioral psychology to trigger our desires and insecurities by giving us the unattainable ideal and we eat it up.

What you all might find ironic is that Candice Galek is the founder and CEO of Bikini Luxe and had no idea when she started she would be in this position to have her voice heard and become influential.

How she has chosen to use that influential voice has earned the respect of many including me. Here’s why.

I am an Empath and a Telepath. That means I read the emotional totality of you in the moment. It means I have the ability to access your subconscious mind and know your true intent regardless of your words.

I know it freaks a lot of you out, however it doesn’t stop me from existing and doing it anyway.

Over the last month or so I have had the pleasure of having Candice as a connection on Linkedin and her updates show up in my news feed daily.

I watch this woman who became accidentally famous agonize over what to do with and about it while also making sure her business that employs 50 people stays successful. I have felt her wrestle with what to do next on a personal level as well as professional.

Sorry Candice in it’s in your energy and I have no off switch.

It’s because of what I have read in her energy that she has my respect.

It’s the questions she raises that has earned my respect.

It’s the stands that she does take that earned my respect.

That all said I want to be clear about how I feel about what she does for a living.

Bikinis are awesome and she is getting into lingerie.

It makes sense for her to use models for her apparel. It does not make sense for Carl’s Jr to have a half naked woman eating a hamburger and that’s the whole commercial.

To me it depends on what you are selling. Women’s clothes should have women models to give women an idea of what it looks like when worn.

Hamburgers don’t need a pretty girl to sell them or your burger isn’t that good.

 

 

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9 thoughts on “Why selling sex is bad for the human condition

  1. OK, Poppa, here’s the conundrum. You brilliantly elucidated the damaging effects of objectifying women; I’ve tried to do the same, but you’ve done it much better. But then you praised Candice’s bikini marketing on LinkedIn. If she did the same marketing on women’s fashion sites or even Facebook, I’d agree. But I beg you to scroll through the comments she receives.when she posts very revealing — and, to most HR departments, decidedly “not safe for work” — images on LinkedIn. What you’ll discover is that far more of those comments come from men whose verbiage indicates that they are not bikini buyers but instead are responding to the very damaging objectification — and feeding the same contagious subjugation — that you so eloquently deplore. I’d be interested to know how you resolve this.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dallas it’s real simple. She actually sells bikinis so those photos are actually relevant.

      The issue of men behaving like pigs is up to the individual and none of us can control their behavior.

      All we can do is educate through piece such as this and the things it sounds as though you are writing.

      Education is the key however you can lead a human to wisdom but you can’t make them wise.

      To be clear I have no issue with Candice posting the pictures that are of the product with a women wearing the product not to use sex to sell however it gives women a chance to see what it looks like when being warn.

      I also feel it should be noted that Candice has been looking for more relatable models to use to aid in removing this stigma from her business.

      We can only do what each of us can do.

      Liked by 1 person

      • I heartily applaud Candice for striving for more professional images to “remove this stigma from her business.”

        But (and this comes from someone who just turned 64) Poppa, I’d have to disagree with your contention about not being able to change males’ behavior. We DID control the piggishness and horndoggery, at least to a degree. When I entered the professional world in the early 1970s, men dominated corporate offices, pin-up posters and calendars showing women wearing bikinis or less dominated the cubicle walls and bulletin boards, and what female employees did exist were bombarded with constant propositions, called “honey” and “baby” and “sweetie” and spent nearly as much time fending off the swaggering swine as they did doing their jobs. (The interaction between Dolly Parton and Dabney Coleman in “9 to 5” was far from fictional.)

        But then came more professional women in higher places, and they developed the power and assertiveness to actively fight what they rightly saw as creation of a workplace climate of sexual intimidation. Women became HR directors, laws were written, sensitivity training was crafted, company handbooks were rewritten, discipline was meted out, and otherwise intelligent males were taught how to put themselves into someone else’s shoes. We DID control the pigs!

        The advent of the Internet, however, has allowed those cockroaches to crawl back out of their dark corners and turn back the clock. The inevitable manifestation is that we now even have a presidential candidate who feels free to publicly objectify a female network news anchor and even mock menstruation.

        Sure, Candice is marketing what she sells. But when she did it with NSFW images on LinkedIn, didn’t that nurture this very piggish workplace climate you and I both object to when the hubba-hubba oinkers drew far more “likes” than did women members’ “My, that’s attractive swimwear! I think I’ll buy one.” comments?

        Maybe selling sex to pigs was not her intention. But as I outlined in an article early last year, one of the first rules of marketing is to make sure the customer is receiving the message you’re sending and not misinterpreting it. http://bizwest.com/unwitting-double-entendres-can-bite-you-in-the-ads/

        OK, it’s just me, but I don’t understand what’s to be gained for our wives, daughters and female co-workers by paddling the canoe forward and backward at the same time.

        Liked by 1 person

      • What I am getting here is that 1 you think because you’re old you get it better than we do.

        2 You simply don’t like Candice and are looking for any reason to tear her down and tarnish her image.

        3. You have not grown wise in age if you have not come to understand that control is an illusion and there is a major difference between office policy and what men do in their minds and with the rest of their time.

        Like

      • Oh, lord, not at all. To the contrary, I have actually watched her grow in professionalism and responsibility as she’s learned through her LinkedIn experience. I have admired that growth and acknowledged it just as you have. The images she’s posting on LI these days are generally more professional and tasteful than those of even a month ago. I thought we both were using her experience as a case study of the effects and ripples — positive and negative — of selling sex. I simply saw somewhat of a contradiction in your essay and sought to clarify it.

        You are correct that “there is a major difference between office policy and what men do in their minds and with the rest of their time” — but that’s exactly why content on LinkedIn became the point of controversy surrounding Candice’s marketing. Unlike Facebook, Pinterest, Instagram, Twitter or virtually any other large social-media platform that is most often viewed in our leisure time, LinkedIn is most commonly viewed in the workplace — up to 80 percent of views, LI officials tell me — and thus it’s the office where that “major difference” effectively dissolves. The controversy arose because suddenly LinkedIn was becoming the modern embodiment of those last-century pin-up calendars I mentioned, and some professional women and men alike — of all ages, by the way — bristled at what they saw as an unwelcome turning back of the clock that was leading to the very objectification you very correctly described and deplored in your original piece, and that we thought we’d relegated to the dustbin of business history next to the “White Trade Only” signs and men-only Chamber of Commerce meetings. My 30-something upwardly mobile professional daughters are as aware of that history as I am, and don’t want to go back there either.

        For the record, I greatly enjoy viewing the models on the Bikini Luxe website and would order something there for my daughters if I had any confidence that I’d pick the right color or size — but I do it at home, not work.

        Liked by 1 person

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