Why I go to Strip Clubs

No, it has nothing to do with Motley Crue’s GIRLS GIRLS GIRLS, though it’s a rockin’ tune and one that every stripper should dance to at least once.

Rock ‘N’ Roll Shaman people, get used to it.

On July 4th 1993 I went into the Inner Room in Cocoa Beach Fla. I was 18 and turned 19 that September and left for Oklahoma in October. Patrick Air Force Base was my first duty station after Basic training and Technical School.

From July to October after the Air Force had created the Airman they needed me to be, the woman of The Inner Room taught me everything about what it means to be a man women want to be around.

They also taught me at age 18 how to look at half naked women in the eyes while talking to them.

These women were some of the strongest most courageous and wise women I have ever known.

It takes courage to do what they do for a living.

It takes an inner strength and knowing it’s there to do what they do for a living.

They spend as much time playing therapist as a bartender or a cab driver or a Taltos.

I truly adore strong wise women. When I say adore I mean revere.

Most of what I have learned thus far about life has been from the women who have taught me. Currently my favorite band is Halestorm and Lizzy throws down some wise lyrics in some of her tunes.

It takes strength and courage to lead the life to write those songs.

Over the years when I feel lost, I seem to always find my way into a strip club. Whoever the dancer is that sits down more often than not gets coached on how she can do it even better and how I know she’s pretending to like me so she can drop the act, I am going to buy a dance. However I am going talk for a bit first.

Over the years there have been one or two I should have dated. Honestly I couldn’t give a good reason other than stupidity as to why I didn’t.

One of the few things that pisses me off in life is when people feel as though they can look down at dancers. I choose my words carefully.

I have a certain reverence for the women who can do that job and put up with everything that comes with it, including people who talk shit about them and their profession.

I have found in life that I no longer get angry for myself. I am at peace with where I am and how I got here. I find the only time I am tempted to allow myself to become annoyed and then irritated and eventually if it continues angry and nothing should ever piss me off.

I have worked my entire life to be exceedingly patient. I found for me that the opposite of patience is wrath. When it doesn’t happen right now we get angry as if somehow that will make it happen faster.

Despite all my rage I’m still just a rat in a cage

A lyric from the Smashing Pumpkins that rings all too true in life. I find for me the process that works is to spiral until it’s funny.

The spiral goes outward.

I give my self a chance to understand the personal feeling I am attaching to a situation or event.

I give myself a chance to feel it.

Then I back out of it in a spiral outwards looking inward at myself. One of my skills allows me to get an emotional sense of what anyone else at random would feel if it was them. I think about as if I was advising someone else who was dealing with the same thing, what would I tell them.

When I am able to see the event as a punchline to the cosmic joke that is life, I am good.

That’s my way of saying sometimes it should hurt to be you in the situation you are in however once you can laugh about it, it doesn’t hurt anymore. Before you can laugh about it, you have to become at peace with it and accepting of it and what it is versus what it looks like.

It takes a patient mind to explore ones experiences and understand ones self and to explore the layers of a situation instead of reacting due to a lack of information.

A patient mind reaps the greatest reward.

The greatest reward is one that makes an impact. 

Sometimes the hardest thing to do is understand some people are stupid and do and say stupid things and nothing you are going to do is going to change that so you walk away and remind yourself who you are.

Even harder than that is when smart people say and do the same stupid things.

In patience one can reap the reward of laughter later if one does not allow oneself to become angry.

Laughter is the best medicine so laugh at thyself to heal thyself.

Realize you have the strength to bare your soul at anytime to anyone, it’s the courage that it takes to say “Fuck it I am scared but I’m doin’ it anyway” that reveals that strength.

Anyone who exhibits courage has earned respect.

They respected themselves enough to not let fear get in their way.

They found their strength to be who they are and get through whatever it was they had to go through or are going through.

Most of what I have done in life is help women repair themselves after shitty relationships.

Domestic/Emotional Abuse is my charity work that I have been doing for years and don’t talk about the couple hundred women I helped over the last few years.

I feel bad talking about it as if talking about it means I am looking for credit. It’s simply who I am and I can’t imagine not doing it.

I feel that way about a lot of things I am doing these days and about who I am loving life as.

I guess I mention that charity work to remind myself that I don’t do what I do for the money even though the world we we live in revolves around it.

I put it there to remind myself it takes a special human to do what I do and there is no shame or arrogance in reminding myself of the decent human being I am.

We all need that sometimes.

When you can give it to yourself, you’ve mastered you.


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