What are you afraid of?

I am a man who walks alone
And when I’m walking a dark road
At night or strolling through the park

When the light begins to change
I sometimes feel a little strange
A little anxious when it’s dark.

The light we become is born from our darkness. We put things in  our darkness we would not want the rest of the world to see out of fear of being judged and seen as if there is something wrong with us.

We always walk alone in our darkness whether we walk the streets or take a stroll through any park. It doesn’t matter if it’s day or night our darkness is always around us.

 Have you run your fingers down the wall
And have you felt your neck skin crawl
When you’re searching for the light ?
Sometimes when you’re scared to take a look
At the corner of the room
You’ve sensed that something’s watching you.

No one likes to be watched unless they have put themselves at the center of things. When we sense the unseen taking interest in us it can sometimes bring about fear. You feel it there, however you can’t see it or touch it and it can be unnerving.

I always say that if there was a personification of God it would make God the ultimate stalker. That idea of something or someone ever present ever watching is a scary one when we are not at peace with who we are and the things we do when we are alone.

However we always get a sense of the people we meet.

We are spirits wrapped in flesh and we are all connected.

I say everything in existence is a face and facet of what God truly is. We have a lower self that enjoys all the pleasures the flesh has to offer. No matter how dark the desire is, the flesh can find a way to enjoy it.

The higher self is our connection to what some call the Universal Consciousness and I call the Big U. I call it the Big U because it’s all of you in spirit. We are a hive mind that takes the form of flesh to enjoy what individuality is and can be.

 Watching horror films the night before
Debating witches and folklore
The unknown troubles on your mind
Maybe your mind is playing tricks
You sense,and suddenly eyes fix
On dancing shadows from behind.

At times setting ourselves up to be scared can be fun.

A scared woman will cuddle closer to the one next to her.

A scared man will cuddle closer to the one next to him.

I’ve had a lot of conversations about Majick recently. Real Majick not illusion, not some long forgotten secret art, something we all do every day in every way without realizing it most of the time.

The Universe manifests for us and will allow us to think we are doing it ourselves and play into our ego expression.

This often leads many to feeling as though they are Wizards or Sorcerers or Witches and for some, they go off the deep end and think they are a god or a Djinn or something other than human.

We want to feel as though we have the power because we fear being weak. Funny thing is the ultimate power in the Universe is choice. Our choices create the path before us.

Karmic Law says and science has proven, our thoughts create our realities.

I forget who I was talking to the other night who said “Our thoughts are our prayers and our words our spells.”

Wise words and a simple way to view the Majick we all do.

When one becomes their light, they leave their darkness behind.

For me, I am a recovering sex addict. So for me I became a Tantra master in order to leave my desires at home and I go out in search of growth, learning, friendship, family and pure love connections.

My darkness is nothing for any to see except those I become lovers with. I have no need to be a lover with every woman and I’m not into men. I’ve thought about it, simply not my thing. However I enjoy hanging out with gay men, they tend to be entertaining. They also have strength and courage as many of them came out to families who don’t get them.

I respect them, they have been through some shit and probably take more than they should from a world still homophobic.

What’s to be afraid of?

I often find those who experience homophobia are often denying the desires they have within them.

Courage is not the absence of fear it’s knowing you’re afraid and saying “Fuck this shit, I’m doing it anyway.”

“I’m going to be me anyway”

“I’m going to talk to ______ anyway.”

“Fuck fear!”

It’s finding a way to do what you’re afraid of not because the fear is gone, you do it because you refuse to let fear run your life. I often find on the other side of my fears is the life I never would have thought I could have.

It’s scary to do what I do in this world as it is. It’s scary to tell the world “I’ll give you the benefit of what and who I am and what I can do without ever asking for anything in return.”

My desire is to never let fear make my choice.

My choice is to stand, face my fears and do it anyway.

As for what I keep in my darkness, my peace and my side of bliss.

It’s what creates that bliss in the light I choose to be. I give all that I am to any around.

Tonight I’m taking my Magic cards out to hang with some new friends who also play Magic: The Gathering. I’m bringing bliss with me, the bliss I find in allowing my higher self to connect me to the bliss all around and within us.

I’m also looking forward to kickin’ some ass on the table.

If you’re going to play a game, play to win. The only game I play right now is Magic: The Gathering and I look forward to the gathering around the park bench tonight.

I go out in the dark because there is nothing fear but fear itself as JFK once said.

I’m also nocturnal and I spend most of my day giving my energy to my parents so they can do what they need to do. It drains me all day long and I sleep off and on through out the day.

Fear of the dark, fear of the dark
I have a constant fear, thought you heard
Fear of the dark, fear of the dark
I have a phobia that someone’s always there.

I find comfort that there is always something or someone there. Understanding we are never truly alone and that loneliness is nothing more than a choice.

What are you afraid of?

Face your fears.

Whisper if you feel me.


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